Christmas time in the city

Well, its been a couple weeks since I have been here. Still working at the same place for the time being and feeling at peace with it finally. I spent some time feeling like it was temporary and not really appreciating the job much. Now I have realized that its important to give it my best and treat it like I would any other job no matter how I think it going to turn out. You just never know I could end up there for a few months and I want to leave knowing I did a good job. Still waiting to hear from Travelers and actually beginning to wonder if that is the right thing for me to do. I really want a job where I could work outside and use my gardening skills. I have been spending some time reading up and trying to improve my knowledge base so that I can try some new stuff in the spring. I am getting antsy for good weather already and its not even the end of Dec. I have quite a few months to wait it out. Need to channel my engery into something else I suppose.
I have been toying around with the idea of trying to write a book about my life. I know I have had plenty of experiences that would merit writing about, but not sure if I have the dedication it takes to do something of that magnitude. I will think on it for bit longer.
Went to my company dinner last night for Christmas. It was not the best one I have ever been to. My friend Cheryl was there with her kids though and they are fun. Her littlest one is a doll and I just love her to death. Cheryl is going to have another baby in about three weeks, so she will have her plate full. I've been helping her out with a little babysitting lately and I guess I am about done with that. Her boyfriend is in jail for a dui and he is getting out soon so he will take over while she finishes up with her degree. She has been going to school at night for some time now. I really admire her trying to get ahead but I have a feeling her boyfriend is not going to learn his lesson. I hope for her sake he does. She's a cool girl and deserves a happy life.
Anyway, all this has got me thinking about my own life and how I have taken for granted alot of good things that were freely given to me. I have a tendancy to think that I am owed something. That was very wrong of me and my karma is following me as well. I am trying to just accept my situation and realize that I need to make changes inside myself before I can turn it around again. I really need to figure out what is going to make me happy for work and my life in general. Giving back to others in an unselfish way is really the key to this whole thing and that has been a hard lesson to learn. I've been selfish and greedy and its time for a change. So, starting with Cheryl, I have been giving my time to her so she can focus on school and not worry about her kids at night. I started to have an attitude about it and then decided it's only unselfish if its a sacrafice and I should do it willingly not begrudgingly.
Later today, I am suppose to go shopping with Kellie and have coffee, but I haven't heard from her yet. We don't get to be together that much anymore and I miss her. She's a fun girl but actually kind of negative. I've concluded that its best to limit your exposure to those kinds of people if you want to stay postitive so its probably for the best. However, she is really fun and I miss her just for the silliness of it all. Haven't had a good pub crawl with her in sometime so I think maybe for my birthday we will hit it and see what kind of trouble we can get into.
As far as Kipp goes, I think he is over the worst of it too. He seems to be accepting his situation as well and has moved on. He's working on some house projects around here so that is nice. I like to keep things moving as we have a tendancy to get half done and then leave it for later.
We painted the living room after mudding and taping the new sheet rock but don't like the color. I want to get that finished up after the new year maybe so we have one room complete. Its about time to paint the bathroom again too and it needs new baseboards put up. Lots to do and so little money to do it with at the moment. I suppose its all relative. Summer will come and we will make money and I'll get a different job that pays more again. This time I will work my ass off to show that I appreciate what I have and it will work out. It always does and life wouldn't be very interesting if it was nothing but good times all the time.
Later on I will understand the lessons and gain from them. So, for now I wait and think and listen to the universe so I can understand what it wants from me. If I can figure out what my mission is then maybe I won't feel so restless.