Taking it to the streets

Its Friday morning, almost 8am. Time to get on the job hunt once again. I sent off a little speil this moringing that should help me out. A denouncement about how I feel about work. Hope I can live up to it. Sometimes its hard to take a crappy job and make it good. I don't really know anything about this job however so I won't assume its crappy. The nice thing is it is right downtown so I am hoping to get it for that reason alone. Save alot of money in gas and parking etc.... I like that . Plus I can walk when the weather gets nicer. I like that too..
So, last night I had this dream that I was sitting in the car with some older people. I am behind the wheel and they are on a bench seat in the front with me. We are selling something to eat but I am not sure what it is. This big heavy black gal comes to the passenger window and wants some of what we have but we don't have as much as she wants. All of a sudden I realize she is mad and starting to move around to the back window of the car. I know she is going to shoot me in the back of the head through the window. She fires the gun and I feel the bullet whoose by my neck just under my left ear. It is so close I can feel the wind of it blow my hair and I can hear the sound. I am relieved she misses and then the dream switches to something else. Not sure at all what that symbolizes. A narrow miss somewhere in my waking mind.....strange strange strange. The strange part is I think the man was a younger version of my grandpa on my Dad's side. He died a few years ago and I didn't go to the funeral. Its sad how my Dad's side of the family is just totally scattered and doesn't see each other at all.. My cousin who is my age is in prison for Meth. My uncle Bill is an amputee from diabetes. My second cousin doesn't speak to any of us and she probably really needs that connection. Mhy other cousin who is my sisters age is a Geologist down at WSU. Not so far away but not interested in us apparently as I have emailed him once and got no reply. I have two other cousins that are little girls that I have never even seen that belong to my youngest uncle who dies a few years ago of a heart attack. He was only forty. Anyway, no matter what I still have my immediate family. Thats enough I suppose.

I jsut spent some time looking up the meaning of death or dying in a dream. What is symbolized by this is a big change ahead. Moving ahead to something new and leaving the past behind. I think maybe all the whoha with my family over Christmas has allowed my to break free of some of the baggage of my past. I want to put those bags down and start over with a light load. I am tired of dragging that ugly beaten up suitcase behind me. So, I forge ahead narrowly escaping the crazy woman's bullet, alive to fight another day in the ongoing battle of becoming................what I don't know but I am on to something here and want to follow it to the end. Later Gater