Is it Friday Yet?

Have you ever just wanted towalk away from your life and never look back? I've been feeling that way a little lately. Seems like even though things are mostly on track, I have this feeling in the back of my mind that a storm is going to hit any time. I don't know why but I have been thinking lately alot about what my life would be like if I had made different choices. Like ones that involved trusing myself more and everyone else less. I suppose I am right where I am meant to be at this point but occassionally I have a hard time accepting that my life is what it is and its the only one I have. Just as an example, I went out yesterday and spent about 90.00 on some clothes for work. Not a tremendous amount of money and I got two shirts and three summer skirts. I shouldn't feel guilty about it, but somehow I do. I started thinking almost immediately that I didn't deserve them, that I didn't really need them ect...I was worried Kipp would be mad at me for spending the money and I agonized over it all afternoon. I hate that. I should be able to spend 100.00 on myself occasionally without ever feeling bad. I've been working really hard at my job and I'm excelling. I deserve a little treat for all that. It's not an easy job to do and sometimes its not all that fun either so if some new clothes make me happy I shoud be okay with it. Anyway, this is just one of many things I waste time feeling guilty about and I'm tired of it. I'm not excessive, I'm responsible. I deserve nice things and its okay to have them once in a while. So, I will wear the new skirt and smile while I do it knowing I worked hard these last four months to get where I am. Next time I meet a goal I will do the same.