The Warrior Returns Part 1

Well, its been a good long time since I looked at this site. Its been three months now since I lost my baby. I'm doing okay. For sure this has been the single most painful thing I have ever endured or hope to, but I'm feeling tough again and moving forward. The grief still catches me by surprise sometimes, stabbing me at the most awful times. Like when I am standing in line at the grocery store looking at a baby in the cart in front of me. Or when I let myself imagine where I might be in the pregnancy now. Or when I realize this particular soul is never making it across. I hope and pray that its found its way without me and that's the best I can #$%*& do! The whole situation has left both of us pretty beat up and our relationship is looking pretty tattered right now. Somehow we are piecing it back together. It feels like we are coming back stronger than ever. I don't like to make any assumptions though. Just taking it day by day and enjoying every little thing I can. One thing I have really taken from this experience is the ability to accept my body for what it is without criticism. I have been though a frickin lot in my 37yrs and no one get through without scars. !!@# it, I am proud of them and if someone else doesn't then look away, look away.................. Later Dudes