Woke up this morning worrying about money. Never seems to go away. I am searching so much for other meaning in life. Seems like everyone is so caught up in the rat race and I know there is more to our existance here than that. It seems so monotonous at times to just be waiting for some other day when things will be better. I want to commit to making every day good because I know in my heart that's what its about. Doing the best you can with what you have and letting go of yesterday. I have a terrible time with letting go. I like to sit around a dwell on the past and feel guilty about things I didn't do instead of focusing on what I can do know this minute. It's immaturity I suppose. Crying over what can't be changed.
So, yesterday I got up and went on a long walk with my husband and our dog. Its getting pretty cold outside now. We should get snow anytime. We like getting out though. Now that I am working again its hard to get in the amount of activity I need to keep my new weight down. I have been eating like crazy too. I know I am letting my stress control me instead of managing my stress like I should. The first place I turn is to food when I get in an uncomfortable situation. At least I am recongnizing it but the harder I try the more I eat. So, today I will walk again and get in a a couple miles and then watch myself all week with the food. I am up for a different job and part of my stress is waiting for the final answer even though I am 99% sure I will get it.
Yesterday afternoon I took my son to the mall for a little shopping. He needed a coat and I wanted to get my daughter's Christmas shopping started. I got her a cute sweater and some pajamas so far. She likes that . I think I will get her some Christmas decor of her own since she is in her own place now. I really miss her and wish she would come home soon or I could go there. Its so expensive to go. Maybe after the new year Dan and I will go together. She is moving into a bigger place soon and will want me to come see it. I'm happy for her that she is finding her way and having a good time. I feel somewhat lost myself since both of them are almost grown and I didn't get to have them for so long. I hope that I get grandkids that will visit alot. I cant' wait.
So, for the rest of yesterday I cooked a huge meal for us since we went to Kipp's moms for Thanksgiving. That was pretty fun and no one yelled at anyone for a change. I guess we are all growing up. The kids we just completely crazy and loud but that's par for the course. I kind of wish there were more of them but that's the way it goes. They are fun but its good to go home without them too. Anyway, I am just feeling a little down since so many parts of my life are up in the air right now. We are in the process of getting back on track financially but it takes so long and the waiting for the job is killing me. I think I need to walk and meditate. Acceptance of where you are is key and I want to learn the lessons that are being offered. I don't believe that you go through a year like the last one for no reason. It happens because you are off course and need to reexamine what it is you are trying to accomplish. Basically why am I here and what am I contributing. At this point I have to say I don't know. I wish I did............................................................
Sunday, November 26, 2006
Sunday, November 19, 2006
Brave New World
Well, its been a busy couple of weeks. I haven't had much time to post anything because I started a temp job at a warehouse. I spend my day processing orders for an electronics company. Boring stuff to say the least. I run credit cards, check with banks to watch out for fraud, verify shipping addresses. Really not my bag, but it will do in a pinch. I have already put my resume in at Travelers insurance which is what I normally do. Still not too fascinating,however the money is much better. Hoping to start there by around the 15th of Dec. maybe sooner. I have to get my license back. I will be spending the first couple weeks studying for that test and then I will spend sometime getting trained to do my job. I will be working on a rewrite team so it will be less pressure to produce but a larger system to learn. I think I will like it. Alot of people I know work there still and it will be an opportunity to change to a different segment of the industry. I would like to work up to a management position eventually. Its funny how seriously people take their jobs, to the point that once they lose it, they kind of lose themselves. I strongly identify success with what kind of work I am doing. I just don't feel good if I have too much time on my hands. Being productive is what makes me feel successful. Sometimes I wonder if I have some sort of ADD or the like because I have a hard time motivating myself to do well after a certain length of time. I guess once the learning challenge is gone, I feel bored. Need to try hard to keep myself challenged in other areas of my life. Its definately time to start either walking to work or going back to the gym. I can't sit down all day and expect to keep the weight off. Enough about the boring stuff.
Went shopping with my friend Kellie yesterday. We had a good time. Coffee in the morning, lunch with a beer and lots of trying on clothes. Our friend Rhonda from Seattle came along too so it was a good girls day out. Haven't had one in a long time and really enjoyed digging through all the stuff at TJMAXX and The Rack. Got myself a couple items for work and a great black dress that I will most likely wear to Thanksgiving this week. Boy do I have mixed feelings about that trip. Going over the hill to Clarkston to eat with the inlaws. Not my favorite passtime. They grate on my nerves like nails on a blackboard. Plus the food will just be mediocre and that really blows. On the other hand, I won't have to make anything if I don't want to and no clean up either. I can definately enjoy that. I suppose I will just bring a bottle of wine and drink up Johnny. That will make things a tiny bit easier to endure. My sister is coming for Christmas from Hawaii this year. She is preggers and missing her family I think. Moving in with her boyfriend has been a shock to both their systems. The break will probably due them good. They really don't know each other that well so this has been a big adjustment. Anyway, I hear Kipp banging around upstairs so I better go see what's up.
Went shopping with my friend Kellie yesterday. We had a good time. Coffee in the morning, lunch with a beer and lots of trying on clothes. Our friend Rhonda from Seattle came along too so it was a good girls day out. Haven't had one in a long time and really enjoyed digging through all the stuff at TJMAXX and The Rack. Got myself a couple items for work and a great black dress that I will most likely wear to Thanksgiving this week. Boy do I have mixed feelings about that trip. Going over the hill to Clarkston to eat with the inlaws. Not my favorite passtime. They grate on my nerves like nails on a blackboard. Plus the food will just be mediocre and that really blows. On the other hand, I won't have to make anything if I don't want to and no clean up either. I can definately enjoy that. I suppose I will just bring a bottle of wine and drink up Johnny. That will make things a tiny bit easier to endure. My sister is coming for Christmas from Hawaii this year. She is preggers and missing her family I think. Moving in with her boyfriend has been a shock to both their systems. The break will probably due them good. They really don't know each other that well so this has been a big adjustment. Anyway, I hear Kipp banging around upstairs so I better go see what's up.
Brave New World
Well, its been a busy couple of weeks. I haven't had much time to post anything because I started a temp job at a warehouse. I spend my day processing orders for an electronics company. Boring stuff to say the least. I run credit cards, check with banks to watch out for fraud, verify shipping addresses. Really not my bag, but it will do in a pinch. I have already put my resume in at Travelers insurance which is what I normally do. Still not too fascinating,however the money is much better. Hoping to start there by around the 15th of Dec. maybe sooner. I have to get my license back. I will be spending the first couple weeks studying for that test and then I will spend sometime getting trained to do my job. I will be working on a rewrite team so it will be less pressure to produce but a larger system to learn. I think I will like it. Alot of people I know work there still and it will be an opportunity to change to a different segment of the industry. I would like to work up to a management position eventually. Its funny how seriously people take their jobs, to the point that once they lose it, they kind of lose themselves. I strongly identify success with what kind of work I am doing. I just don't feel good if I have too much time on my hands. Being productive is what makes me feel successful. Sometimes I wonder if I have some sort of ADD or the like because I have a hard time motivating myself to do well after a certain length of time. I guess once the learning challenge is gone, I feel bored. Need to try hard to keep myself challenged in other areas of my life. Its definately time to start either walking to work or going back to the gym. I can't sit down all day and expect to keep the weight off. Enough about the boring stuff.
Went shopping with my friend Kellie yesterday. We had a good time. Coffee in the morning, lunch with a beer and lots of trying on clothes. Our friend Rhonda from Seattle came along too so it was a good girls day out. Haven't had one in a long time and really enjoyed digging through all the stuff at TJMAXX and The Rack. Got myself a couple items for work and a great black dress that I will most likely wear to Thanksgiving this week. Boy do I have mixed feelings about that trip. Going over the hill to Clarkston to eat with the inlaws. Not my favorite passtime. They grate on my nerves like nails on a blackboard. Plus the food will just be mediocre and that really blows. On the other hand, I won't have to make anything if I don't want to and no clean up either. I can definately enjoy that. I suppose I will just bring a bottle of wine and drink up Johnny. That will make things a tiny bit easier to endure. My sister is coming for Christmas from Hawaii this year. She is preggers and missing her family I think. Moving in with her boyfriend has been a shock to both their systems. The break will probably due them good. They really don't know each other that well so this has been a big adjustment. Anyway, I hear Kipp banging around upstairs so I better go see what's up.
Went shopping with my friend Kellie yesterday. We had a good time. Coffee in the morning, lunch with a beer and lots of trying on clothes. Our friend Rhonda from Seattle came along too so it was a good girls day out. Haven't had one in a long time and really enjoyed digging through all the stuff at TJMAXX and The Rack. Got myself a couple items for work and a great black dress that I will most likely wear to Thanksgiving this week. Boy do I have mixed feelings about that trip. Going over the hill to Clarkston to eat with the inlaws. Not my favorite passtime. They grate on my nerves like nails on a blackboard. Plus the food will just be mediocre and that really blows. On the other hand, I won't have to make anything if I don't want to and no clean up either. I can definately enjoy that. I suppose I will just bring a bottle of wine and drink up Johnny. That will make things a tiny bit easier to endure. My sister is coming for Christmas from Hawaii this year. She is preggers and missing her family I think. Moving in with her boyfriend has been a shock to both their systems. The break will probably due them good. They really don't know each other that well so this has been a big adjustment. Anyway, I hear Kipp banging around upstairs so I better go see what's up.
Sunday, November 05, 2006
Still Standing
Well, it Sunday night at 6:30pm and I am too pooped to party. Just want to power lounge for the rest of the night. I spent about 6hrs today painting a house we are trying to get finished before the rain gets too crazy. Got alot down so it was worth using the nice day to work on it. More to do tomorrow although it is suppose to be a 90% chance of rain. Lets hope for once they are wrong so I can get my payroll out close to on time. Its been a hard summer in that respect as that sucker comes around every two weeks like clock work. glad to have everyone laid off. I would rather do the work myself with just a smaller crew than have to do that every month. I think we will stay busy enough and I have a part time temp job starting next week so that will help too.
The evil twins are going in for their nut jobs tomorrow morning. Boy are they going to be pissed at me. I have to leave them there all day. Poor little guys. They have no idea what is about to transpire. I guess thats for the best. Anyway, they are starting to get really wild so I am hoping this will take the wind of out their little canoe trip.
Not much else going on. Same old humdrum just making it day to day. I feel good and glad to be putting in the time on the job. Makes me feel like I am accomplishing something. Hard to keep going when it seems like there is never any money or fun but we are getting there. I know its gonna pay off in the end and we will succeed. I'm keeping my birthday and that's that.
Tomorrow is a busy one as I have to work, pick up Dan and take him on a couple errands, be out to the valley by four to watch Deluca and Raven for the night so I won't be home until about 11pm when its all said and done. Long day long day...................................
Torn like an old....dollar bill'
Girl let them say what they will
Cause no one should hurt ya
Thats all I seem to do
That no one should desert ya
Thats all I seem to do
Gotta tell ya
Good bye Mama
We've taken this too far
Been tryin to tell ya whats going on
heyyyyyy
Screamin Trees -----Sweet Oblivion
The evil twins are going in for their nut jobs tomorrow morning. Boy are they going to be pissed at me. I have to leave them there all day. Poor little guys. They have no idea what is about to transpire. I guess thats for the best. Anyway, they are starting to get really wild so I am hoping this will take the wind of out their little canoe trip.
Not much else going on. Same old humdrum just making it day to day. I feel good and glad to be putting in the time on the job. Makes me feel like I am accomplishing something. Hard to keep going when it seems like there is never any money or fun but we are getting there. I know its gonna pay off in the end and we will succeed. I'm keeping my birthday and that's that.
Tomorrow is a busy one as I have to work, pick up Dan and take him on a couple errands, be out to the valley by four to watch Deluca and Raven for the night so I won't be home until about 11pm when its all said and done. Long day long day...................................
Torn like an old....dollar bill'
Girl let them say what they will
Cause no one should hurt ya
Thats all I seem to do
That no one should desert ya
Thats all I seem to do
Gotta tell ya
Good bye Mama
We've taken this too far
Been tryin to tell ya whats going on
heyyyyyy
Screamin Trees -----Sweet Oblivion
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
